Hey there, pretty ladies! How you doing?
What’s that you say? One of you is going to school? Get. Out. You look far to young and spritely to be of the ripe old age of four. I DON’T BELIEVE YOU. Couple of dirty liars, is what you are.
Alright, fine. If you insist, I’ll play. Which one of you TEENY, TINY BABIES is starting school today? Come on, give it to me straight.
You don’t know? Alright, now you’re just messing with me. Who is it? Who’s starting school today?!? I have little tolerance for facetious children. You tell me or I’ll go get your mother.
You?!? The one with the zeep-zorps? I had a feeling, but only because the little one was busy picking her nose. I thought “Now there’s a young lady who’s going places in this world. She can keep her finger out of her snot-hole. Not like that other one.”
So, if you’re so big as to be starting school, let’s get on with it, shall we? Grab a jacket and let’s get a move on. The bell isn’t going to wait for you to arrive. You pack your gear and let’s go.
Do you think you’ve got enough crap in that bag? Five snacks, a sandwich, a thermos, an entire change of clothes, your indoor shoes, and a box of Kleenex? Yeah, I think you’re good for a month’s stay. LET’S GO ALREADY.
Wait, are you getting nervous? Is the thought of going to some strange place filled with strange people to be bossed around by a couple of strangers, ALONE, giving you butterflies?
Aw, well don’t worry. You’ll do just fine. You’re smart and fun and hysterical and everyone will just love you. The teachers will love you, your classmates will adore you, and you’ll be everyone’s favourite by the day’s end.
Oh, and also? SUCK IT UP, SISTER. We’ve all been there.
Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so harsh. You really are nervous. Believe me, you’ll be just fine.
And she was. She told me she played all day, with short interludes for books, snacks, and quiet time. She says she’s already made three friends, one of which is a boy but NOT A BOYFRIEND, MOM. She even wants to stay at school for lunch from now on, which is fine by me because the sign out/sign in process was long and I don’t have time for that crap. Ahem. I mean it would be much more efficient and simpler if she stayed, which she wants to do anyway.
As for the little one? She wasn’t nearly as heartbroken as she was the night before. Not a tear was shed. She asked a few times why she wasn’t allowed to go. ”Because you’re not big enough yet.” “I did get big.” But not big enough, sweetie. She’ll be fine, too. She even told my mom that it was nice having an Avery/Baba Day.
They’re both fine. Everyone’s fine. Nothing to worry about.