And so it begins…
The local Santa Claus parade marks the beginning of the Christmas season. Up until today, I’ve been avoiding the radio stations that play Christmas music all day every day from November 1 until January 1. I’ve pretended not to see the decorations popping up in store windows and the extra 15 pounds of flyers in the newspapers. I’ve barely put any thought into what I’d like for prezzies and, besides the girls, I haven’t asked anyone what they want.
Up until today, it was fall. As of 10:30 a.m. this morning, it is officially Christmas season.
My town is small. We have one strip of a downtown, made up of independently owned shops housed in century-old buildings. We’ve got a few big box stores on the outskirts of town, but they’re shiny and new and aren’t a part of the heart of this place. Our population may be expanding, but the small town feel isn’t changing. Anyone who questions this just has to see our Christmas parade. There’s no city in our parade. It’s pure country.
The Golden Bucket Of Horseshit. This woman LOVES her job. The only explanation is pure, Canadian sunshine. Or moonshine.
- We don’t need no fancy floats. We just staple-gun stuffed animals to a trailer and pull it with a rusted out molester van.
- A clown on an ATV. Merry Christmas.
- I’m not one bit bitter about these personalized sweatshirts. It’s not like when I was in this very concert band we had to wear dorky red suit jackets with gold buttons or anything. Who needs their nicknames on their butts anyway? I know I don’t.
- Here’s me and The Creepy Little Midgets. Not five minutes earlier, they found two random kids and beat them with sticks until they agreed to play tag.
- All of those picture up there were taken by me standing in the middle of the road or zooming in real close. THIS picture was taken from our standpoint. I just about got very UN-Canadian all up in this woman’s face. She was alone and saw that we had two very little kids. How. Rude.
In case you forgot, we live in Canada. The true north, strong and free. Where we have bears and small children to enforce our laws. A'ight slim? So watch what you do.
So now that’s over and it can be Christmas. We can start listening to the radio stations that play carols and watch classic holiday movies and decorate the house, inside and out. We can collect Christmas wish lists and eat shortbread cookies and stock up on non-perishables to donate. ’Tis the season and I’m ready for it.
Woot! Im ready, too. Lovelovelove this time of year. Pass the eggnog.
(And seriously sweet parade too. My city’s in such shambles, I don’t even think we have one.)
The creepy molester float SLAYS ME. Also, I need to pinch your kid’s cheeks — send them over for the pinching, won’t you?
Your small town could eat my small town.
We got our first big snow last night. Now I can officially start thinking about the holidays.
And the stapled stuffed animals are awesome.
Wow. I thought our parades were country.
that just looks like my family reunion
What is up with the weirdo float? Followed by a clown? CREEPY parade!