There’s Probably Lots Of Better Stuff Than This To Read On The Internet
Posted: January 20, 2012 Filed under: Boring stuff you don't care about, How do you categorize "crazy"?, Stuff I love 6 Comments »Where have I been for the past week? Well…um…in the exact same spot I was when I last spoke to you? Literally. Pathetic and my buttcheeks are numb. But it’s the truth and I wouldn’t lie to you. I’m in the same chair and I’ve been doing the same thing all week.
Polyvore. Oh, you damn, dirty, devil. You’re like dress up dolls for grown ups with low standards for entertainment and long attention spans and I CAN’T QUIT YOU.
This week, I wore the following:
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Again, not exactly exact outfit matches, but really, really close.
And in between micro-documenting my day-to-day outfits, I’ve also created entire collections inspired by fictional characters. OH, YES I DID. It’s literally the funnest thing ever if you’re a super huge loser nerd with no friends and no life and a tendency to become obsessed with stupid stuff. Literally. I’ll save you having to look at every single set because THEY ARE PLENTY, but go ahead and clickity click if you’re curious.
Despicable Me, including Margo, Edith, Agnes, Gru, Vector and the Minions.
Because I am no where near ready to admit I have a problem (yeah, this doesn’t feel like rock-bottom to me), my next project is The Wizard Of Oz. Then Disney Villains. And then I DON’T KNOW WHAT BUT I’M EXCITED AND OH, GOD SOMEONE KILL ME.
I fromise* I’ll snap out of it soon. I can see that this is starting to get ridiculous; I’m just not ready to do anything about it yet. In the meantime, you should probably follow me on Pinterest, where I pin all my best Polyvore boards. And then we can fully cultivate this problem together. As a team.
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* fromise is what you say when you want someone to think you just made a promise, but you didn’t technically promise anything, so you really can’t be held accountable for your actions.
Just Say No To Mom Jeans
Posted: January 13, 2012 Filed under: Grown Up Talk, Sometimes it's all about me, Stuff I love 9 Comments »I mentioned a couple of days ago that my closet has undergone a transformation. A makeover, if you will. It began back in late August when I decided that none of my clothes were worthy of wearing during my trip to Ireland. Those Europeans are so trendy and fashion-forward, my 10 year old bootcuts and hoodies wouldn’t do, at all. So I started, little by little, replacing one worn out item with a fresher, updated version. I bought accessories, accessories!, and footwear that weren’t made by Doc Marten or sold at Walmart. Not that there’s anything wrong with Doc, or shoes sold at Walmart, for that matter, but mine were all worn and out of style and way past their expiry.
In Ireland, I bought from the locals. I got a new coat, some new shoes, a few tops. When I got home, I bought boots. Boots that weren’t just functional, but were also gorgeous. I bought skinny jeans, not because I think I’m 15 and 40 lbs lighter than I am, but because in order to tie the boots into the outfit, the jeans must tuck inside. For Christmas, I asked for work clothes. New, stylish work clothes, to replace the abundance of turtleneck sweaters and button-up cardigans.
With much work and more money than I’ve ever spent on clothes in my life, I’ve completely renovated my clothing situation. For once, I’d be hard-pressed to say “But I’ve got nothing to wear!” I can, for the first time ever, say that how I dress (90% of the time)(you will tear my after-work track pants from my cold, dead hands) is actually fashionable. I have a personal style of which I can be proud.
For once, I like getting dressed in the morning.
Thanks to Polyvore, my new OBSESSION, I can show you what I wore this week. Each board shows my outfits for each day, almost exactly. It’s like dress up dolls, for grown ups.
Monday

The jeans were darker, almost black, my knee-high riding boots are all black (no brown), my red stripey shirt is longer (to the bottom of my bum), and the feather necklace is a real feather.
Tuesday

So close. The only differences are that my necklace has a star in the lead role, instead of a wing, and my shoes are nearly exact to these, but matte. That is the cardigan I own, from Old Navy, if you’re interested.
Wednesday
Again, nearly exact. My feather necklace, the same one I wore on Monday, is a lariat style, and my shoes are leather(ish). That’s the sweater I own, from American Outfitters.
Thursday

Thursday was the hardest to duplicate, so bear with me. My sweater dress is very, very similar to this one, but it has short sleeves, so I wore a brown, long-sleeved t-shirt underneath (my office is cold). My necklace is one, long strand, and my cross-body bag is much smaller than this one (but I liked this one, and it is a similar colour, so I went with it). My boots are very similar to these in colour and slouchiness and buckliness, but aren’t exact. Very, very close.
Friday
Today, I’m wearing a long-sleeved white t-shirt, worn skinny jeans, my brown boots (the same ones from Thurdsday; I chose to use these because, again, similar colour, slouchiness, and they’re buckly), and a green scarf. I actually like my coat better than this one, but it has the same feel to it. Dark gray and dressy-ish, but mine is double-breasted with slightly poufy shoulders and a very interesting, wide bottom. Almost like a skirt. I’d show you, but then you’d want it and that’s cruel. I got it in Ireland.
So there we are. This is how I dress now and I actually, for once, feel confident when I leave my house that I look good. It took way too long to get to this point, and I recommend you start right now. Throw away the mom jeans and anything you’ve own for too long. You don’t need to spend a lot (I got everything, including what I bought overseas, on sale or in discount clothing stores or with gift cards I asked for for Christmas), and you don’t need to do it all at once (this has been a six-month process for me). And, certainly, you don’t need to discard your comfy clothes. I am a BIG supporter of comfort – I wouldn’t wear it if I wasn’t comfortable – and have a vast collection of yoga/track/lounge pants I will never part with. But there is nothing wrong with looking good and pulling an outfit together. Doing so gives me a different kind of comfort, one I hadn’t known until I invested in a few accessories.
A box of bunnies
Posted: April 24, 2011 Filed under: Holidays, Photos, Stuff I love, This is where you should go next 3 Comments »“Where are we, Easter?”
“Uh…I dunno. Somewhere FUN, I bet.”
“Well, maybe, but these kids better not be some of those CRAZY kids that like to perform mock autopsies on their toys or burn them to see what they smell like or anything. I will pitch a FIT.”
“These kids are probably not like that, maybe. Do you think they’ll be like that, Valentine?”
“Bloody well better not be. I will go CHUCKY on their tiny little psychotic asses, so help me Jesus.”
“Calm down, Valentine. It’ll be ok. Their mommy seemed nice when she picked us up from the post office…”
“THREE HOURS LATE, EASTER. Three hours late. Oh, great. Psychotic kids with a neglectful mother. This is NOT going to be pleasant.”
“Let’s just wait and see what happens. I’ll be they’ll love us to bits.”
“…that’s what I’m afraid of, you buffoon.”
A FEW DAYS LATER…
“See, Valentine? WE’RE PRESENTS! This is going to be GREAT! These kids are going to hug us and love us and we’ll be their favourite bunnies EVER.”
“We’ll see. WE’RE SITTING BESIDE CHOCOLATE. Nothing good has ever come from sitting beside chocolate. Have you seen kids hopped up on chocolate? They’re loud and rough and insane. CRAZY EYES, Easter. They get CRAZY EYES.”
“You’re crazy, Valentine. Certifiable.”
“Crazy? Or realistic? We’ll find out soon. I hear them coming.”
“Ho. Lee. Crap. I’m afraid, Easter. I’m real afraid.”
“Shut up, you lunatic. They look lovely. THEY HAVE BASKETS. Only the cutest and most adorable kids have BASKETS. Look at those smiles! They’re going to love us!”
“What are you going to name her, Eirinn?”
“Hoppity Hop. Er…Hippity Hop. Hip Hop. Hoppity Hippie. Hop Hop.”
“So, you’ll decide later. What about you, Avery? What are you naming your bunny?”
“Uh…AVERY!”
“Avery, your bunny’s name is Avery?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, sure, Easter…or Hip Hop, or whatever your new name is…I get the narcissist.”
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Seriously, people. Cutest. Bunnies. Evar. I got these two little bunnies from Dork Designs, the amazing shop from Erin of Blogging Is For Dorks fame. The woman can knit, folks. Knit the crap out of some wool, I tell you.
I got these bunnies for the girls for Easter. They are undeniably and ridiculously the most adorable things I have ever seen. When I saw them, I HAD to buy them. Even if my kids didn’t like them (which they completely do; they’re their new favourites), I wanted them in my house no matter what.
THEY HAVE NO EYES. Which…sounds creepy, but is actually hilarious and too cute. They have no eyes for two reasons: 1) to make them baby-safe (no choking hazards here, folks!) and 2) because their hats are covering where their eyes would be.
They are soft and squishy and lovable, perfect for anyone from wee little baby to um…ME (hint, hint), and can be custom made to suit whatever colours your fantasy bunny is made out of. She also makes baby blankets, hats, scarfs, and t-shirts.
If you’re looking for a beautiful, quality, handmade gift for yourself or someone else, check out Dork Designs.
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This is not a paid endorsement of any kind. I paid full price for my…I mean, MY KIDS’ bunnies and was not asked to post about them at all. I was just so unbelievably pleased with my purchase that I couldn’t not share with you.
And so it begins…
Posted: November 20, 2010 Filed under: Crazy Lady, Family, Fun, Holidays, Photos, Stuff I love, Widdle Debil 8 Comments »The local Santa Claus parade marks the beginning of the Christmas season. Up until today, I’ve been avoiding the radio stations that play Christmas music all day every day from November 1 until January 1. I’ve pretended not to see the decorations popping up in store windows and the extra 15 pounds of flyers in the newspapers. I’ve barely put any thought into what I’d like for prezzies and, besides the girls, I haven’t asked anyone what they want.
Up until today, it was fall. As of 10:30 a.m. this morning, it is officially Christmas season.
My town is small. We have one strip of a downtown, made up of independently owned shops housed in century-old buildings. We’ve got a few big box stores on the outskirts of town, but they’re shiny and new and aren’t a part of the heart of this place. Our population may be expanding, but the small town feel isn’t changing. Anyone who questions this just has to see our Christmas parade. There’s no city in our parade. It’s pure country.

The Golden Bucket Of Horseshit. This woman LOVES her job. The only explanation is pure, Canadian sunshine. Or moonshine.

In case you forgot, we live in Canada. The true north, strong and free. Where we have bears and small children to enforce our laws. A'ight slim? So watch what you do.
So now that’s over and it can be Christmas. We can start listening to the radio stations that play carols and watch classic holiday movies and decorate the house, inside and out. We can collect Christmas wish lists and eat shortbread cookies and stock up on non-perishables to donate. ’Tis the season and I’m ready for it.
Instead of telling you about my Disney trip…
Posted: October 26, 2010 Filed under: Fun, Stuff I love, Swag | Tags: contests, Disney On Ice, Feld Entertainment, Mickey and Minnie's Magical Journey 18 Comments »… I shall bring a bit of Disney to you!
So, do you remember last year when we went to see Disney On Ice: Princess Classics? And there was a contest and someone won it and they got to come, too? Well, guess what. Nope. Guess again. Guess again. No, guess again.
Alright, fine, I’ll tell you.
Disney On Ice is back, this year with Mickey and Minnie’s Magical Journey. From the press package:
Disney On Ice presents Mickey & Minnie’s Magical Journey takes audiences on a fun-filled tour to four exciting destinations filled with favorite Disney friends. With Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse as tour guides, guests will visit the enchanting worlds of Disney’s The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Lilo & Stitch and Peter Pan.
The arena will be filled with music and magic in every scene including an enchanting undersea kingdom with Ariel and Sebastian, a jungle adventure in the African Pride Lands with Simba and Nala, a Hawaiian luau with Lilo and Stitch and a trip to jolly old London with Peter Pan and Tinker Bell.
We had such a great time last year at Disney On Ice: Princess Classics that I can’t wait to take both girls this year. Thanks to Feld Entertainment, Inc., I get to do just that. And I can take you! Well, not ALL of you, but one of you and your family! Yay!!!
When I was told that I could have some tickets to give to you guys, I was all “Heck yeah! I will be the Best Blogger Ever! And we can stay up late and have ball park treats and buy matching souvenirs and laugh and laugh.” Except you can be with your family and I’ll be with mine and we’ll create lasting family memories together but apart, you know? Otherwise it would get kind of weird because sometimes I talk like how I write and it’s not as funny in person.
I’ve probably totally confused you and maybe even disoriented you a little, if you even bothered to stick around until the end, so I’ll summarize in REGULAR HUMAN ENGLISH:
I have a family pack of 4 (four) tickets to see Disney On Ice: Mickey and Minnie’s Magical Journey, presented by Feld Entertainment to give to one lucky reader.
The show is at the Rogers Centre, Toronto, Ontario, from December 25 – January 2, 2011 so anyone out of driving range of the T Dot, sorry ’bout that.
To win, all you have to do is leave a comment and I will announce the winner on Tuesday November 2nd. If I get more than one comment, I’ll use Random Number Generator to pick a winner for me. That way, I’m not the bad guy. It’s called blame-shifting. Haz sum.
And for those who don’t win, but would still love to go, I have a coupon code for you. Purchase your tickets through Ticketmaster or by calling 800-745-3000 and enter the code BLOG and you’ll get $5 off. Valid for any date, but some restrictions do apply.
Ok, get commenting and good luck!
* EDITED TO NOTE: Good point, Michelle S. You can comment as much as you’d like, but one contest entry per person, m’kay?



























