I have no excuse.  I’ve never even tried to keep an organized bathroom cupboard.  One of these days I’m going to pull everything out and sort through the mess.  There’s still some nearly four year old nipple cream and breastfeeding pads in there somewhere (sorry).  In a bag, I have every single one of the 40 bobby pins that were in my hair on my wedding day, seven and a half years ago.  There are about 20 bottles of creams and washes and lotions that I’ve never used.  I have three makeup bags of stuff I’ve used once.  I use five things on my face – moisturizer, powder, blush, black eyeshadow, and mascara – and three on my hair – leave-in conditioner, defrizz serum, and hair spray – and I use the d-o for b-o and the blow dryer.  Everything else?  ::shrug::  I don’t even know what is in there, let alone why I own it.  There’s an inflated bath pillow in there, FFS.  I’ve had two baths in the last 5 years, what the hell do I need an inflated bath pillow for?  What I mean is, I appreciate owning the pillow for the odd bath I do have, but why do I need to keep it inflated?  Apparently as a cushiony base for the pile of feminine hygiene products, hair accessories and self-waxing kits I OBVIOUSLY need.

I’m going to stop myself right there.  If I get any douchier, I’m going to have to kick myself in the crotch out of principle.  Just buy all the stuff I told you to buy and wear it.

The hard part (but also the fun part) is finding what to wear in the first place.  If you have all the bits, putting them together isn’t like assembling a puzzle.  There should never just be one way to do something, and that counts for getting dressed.  If you buy pieces that will only go with one thing, then not only are you wasting your money, you’re doing it all wrong.  I believe, if you shop smartly, every item – be it a top, pants, an accessory, even a bold statement piece – should be a part of at least three completely different looks.  At least.  Not including pj’s, socks and underwear, I have one wall of a closet and four drawers in a dresser.  I really, honestly, don’t own that much stuff; however, as an experiment, just to see if I could do it, I went an entire month without repeating outfits.  At work, I mean.  My lounging kit pretty much doesn’t change until it’s dirty.  But to work, I didn’t wear the same thing twice from January 9th to February 10th, and without even trying, I still haven’t duplicated.  I just went the month to see if I could do it and I’ve continued because it seems that I can.  I’ve worn the same items, several times, but my ensembles have never been the same.  Now, when I decide what to wear each day, it’s like a challenge to mix and match items I haven’t before.  It’s incredibly fun, but I’m afraid I might have developed a sick addiction.

I think the very last thing I can pass on to you is to make a conscious effort to become fearless – wear one thing every day that you wouldn’t have before.  Soon enough you’ll find there’s nothing you won’t consider (although there are things that no one should consider wearing – I’m looking at you, belly tops, dead in the eye).  I even almost wore a dress today.  A dress.  Almost.  And I just might actually go through with it next week.  If you know me even a tiny bit, you’ll think I’m lying.  I own more than one yellow thing.  Yellow.  If you know me and my skin tone even a tiny bit, you’ll wonder if I’ve lost my mind.  I wear skinny jeans.  Skinny jeans.  If you know me and my disdain for constricting clothing even a tiny bit, you’re wondering when I became such a girl.  Well, people, I became a girl when I realized that it wasn’t all high heels and short skirts.  Being a woman can be fun sometimes (sometimes…) and I haven’t been uncomfortable once.

Since taking stock in how I look, I feel better about my outsides, I feel more confident, more professional, and I’ve found a new hobby.  I didn’t make a big change, I still dress in the same general style I’ve always dressed, but I’ve put effort into it.  I’ve turned it into a sport and I’m starting to sound douchy again, so here’s me wrapping it up (finally)(I KNOW).

Oh, and if anyone wants to pay me to buy all their clothes for them and then dress them every day (not physically – I don’t want to see anyone naked, pleaseandthankyou), I’d be more than happy to take on a second job.

My shoes.  Or, rather, my boots.  Do you know how hard it is to photograph boots WHILE you’re wearing them?  Especially when you don’t own a full-length mirror?  Awkward.  And, yes.  I know that tights are not pants.  That’s why these are leggings and my top is technically a dress, so I’m covered no matter how you look at it.  ”But Jen.  Why don’t you just say you’re wearing a dress and tights?”  That’s because I don’t wear dresses.  Especially dresses this short.  So I’m wearing a long blouse and leggings, m’kay?  Stop talking about my clothes and look at my boots.  $50 at Winners.

Basics

I love to layer.  Sometimes I layer for the sake of layering.  A tank top under a blouse under a cardigan.  I have tanks and long-sleeved t-shirts in every shade of neutral.  These can be found on the ultra-cheap anywhere.  My favourite basics stores are Walmart (found a cute gray t-shirt there a few weeks ago for $9 and it fits the nicest of any that I have) ($9!) and Old Navy.  Old Navy simply for the variety in shades and shapes, and they always seem to have some sort of sale and free delivery.

Footwear

I have never been a shoe girl.  I have wide feet that just don’t look good in heels (would Fred Flintstone look fetching in a delicate stiletto?), so I’ve lived my life in sneakers, boots, and flats.  LUCKY FOR ME, you can buy boots and flats that are just as beautiful as heels.  I have ballet flats in black, brown, and red (yes, red – they double as my statement piece [see ahead] some days) and they’re pretty much a solid part of my daily office uniform.

I have developed a love affair with boots.  I still buy them flat (because, if I’m being honest, I can not walk in heels), but they’re still sexy, if you ask me.  I have boots in black and brown, but I could probably buy a million pairs of boots and never feel like I own enough.  Boots can make an outfit look comfortable or totally badass and I love them.

Accessories

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Accessories are like the icing on the cake.  They are what adds the fun to your basics.  I am a big fan of both costume jewelry and scarves.  Chunky, colourful necklaces are my favourite and I have a ton, but I buy them from Ardene or Claires.  The local shops in my town have some beautiful, handmade, one of a kind pieces, if I feel like splurging (or if someone is looking to buy me a gift).  When I buy jewelry, I try to keep outfits in mind so that I’m not buying anything that won’t get worn, but I also think of ways to tie new ensembles together.  Perhaps a necklace has colours in it I hadn’t thought of putting together (a long necklace I recently bought is made from brown faux leather with red beads throughout, for example) before – BOOM!  Instantly I have a new outfit from clothing I already owned (brown cords and a red cardigan over a basic white tee, new necklace, brown boots, DONE).

I also have a million scarves.  I love scarves.  First, they keep my neck warm all the live long day.  Second, they’re like an alternative to a necklace (although, I’ve been meaning to find a way to pair the two).  I pretty much have a scarf in every colour, or at least in every colour that will coordinate with the clothes I own, and will wear one at least once or twice a week.

Statement Pieces

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Every outfit deserves something that steals all the attention.  A blouse in an interesting pattern or colour, a beautifully tailored jacket, big, bold pieces of jewelry, or shoes that everyone asks about.  Usually it’s the statement pieces that pull an outfit together, that takes it from being simply an assortment of clothing to an ensemble.  It’s with your statement piece that you can push your comfort zone.  It’s just a touch of bravery, but it makes a world of difference.

Now.  Put it all together!

I work in a very big, very old building.  Well, very big for my very small town and very old for Canada, ok?  We’re but a teeny tiny baby of a country, so our “old” isn’t all that old at all, and the building itself is actually only 4 stories tall, BUT STILL.  It’s bigger than the cardboard box I COULD be calling my office.